REVIEW: The Caterwalling Diva "Spirit"

At last, a singer of such outstanding ability to match Mariah Carey's interesting interpretation of singing. The music industry has long awaited another reality-show export to saturate the world with their songs steeped in the honey that is sweet sweet commercialism.

Of course, I am talking about none other than Leona "will she be more than a two-hit wonder?" Lewis. With a name that sounds more like an Icelandic skeetshooter than a British singer, Ms Lewis has probably broken many windows with her impeccable vocal range. A sing-off between Lewis and Carey could certainly reach nuclear levels.

On the face of it, Spirit is just another commercially-produced, emotionless whine, but when you (or if you can last) peeling through the many "deep" layers of Lewis, you may find some interesting melodies, or at least "caramel notes". Alternatively, if "smooth, fruity notes
are more your thang, save yourself some time and buy some beer instead.

Upcoming rapper bucks industry music video trend

In a daring and potentially career-ruining move, rapper/MC/hip-hop artist/singer No IQ has worn a shirt in one of his own music videos.

Often revered as a ‘daring’ or ‘cavalier’ artist, No IQ has undoubtedly taken the biggest risk of his short, but successful career.

No African-American rapper has ever worn a shirt in a film clip before. MTV spokesman Jim Friedman confirmed this yesterday noon before yesterday afternoon

“Damn! No IQ man, I mean, he’s just…well, I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone except him that this has potentially ruined his career! I mean man, what was he thinking!?! No-one wears a shirt in a rap video!” Friedman said.

No IQ’s contemporaries also echoed Friedman’s comments.

50 Cent was overheard saying “What a fool! A cat knows shirtin’ in a shoot is bustin’ a cap in yo green!” (editor note: no-one actually quite knows what 50 Cent means, but his tone indicated he supported Friedman’s comments).

The Satire was lucky to catch up with Kanye West as he left the set of his new video (note: Mr West was not wearing a shirt). Mr West voiced his concern over the decline in the quality of rap videos

“Back a few years, every video clip had shirtless bros, clothes-less ho’s, mean looking cars,” Mr West said, shaking his head in disbelief (or it could be due to neck stress from wearing 15kg of gold chains around his neck)

”No IQ has just confirmed my worst fears, I knew this would happen one day!”

The Satire, along with Mr West, ponders the decline in rap video quality and wonders “what next?” – will the pop charts be flooded with artists such as Missy Higgins, Coldplay and the like stealing the spotlight from artists with actual talent, such as the Pussycat Dolls?