Footballer resists urge to brawl during an AFL match
BigBrother housemate asks "d'ya know what i mean?"
'Smoking kills': smoker
Kevin Rudd + Joe Hockey Sunrise single goes Platinum
Howard jealous of Rudd's dance with Kerri-Anne - Howard rearing up for the Can-Can next week
Outrage as shopper takes thirteen items through '12-items-or-less' lane
Is Yoghurt the new cocaine?
MySpace community shocked after member's page does not contain 'lol'
Consumers complain over extremely low prices for bananas and petrol
Supermarkets decide to sell everything free to stop customers whinging about the cost of groceries
No objections or criticisms voiced over new Government initiative
Labor MP responds to Howard's allegation that Labor is 'in cahoots' with the Unions: "Yeah...and?"
Cricketers realise that giving up part of their exorbitant salaries to not play in Zimbabwe is better than possibly giving up their life to play in Zimbabwe.
George Bush decides to follow Tony Blair's footsteps and retire, much to the dismay of international community
Australian journalist pronounces 'Kyoto Protocol' properly
Sandra Sully to host new reality show: 'How to speak as if reading the news whenever possible (HTSAIRTNWP for ease of use)'
Seven buys rights to new show 'Pretty Betty' before realising most of its shows are based on those principles anyway
American comedy 'My Name is Earl' puzzles viewers by not including canned laughter to indicate when to laugh...until noticing there are no places to laugh
Australian Idol sixth-place-runner-up releases bad single that manages to reach Platinum
Australian Idol winner writes own music and lyrics for all songs on their album
Darryl Sommers decides to talk half as much whilst hosting Dancing with the Stars
Big Brother 25 in production...
Kiefer Sutherland returns for a tenth heart-stopping, loud-panting sequel to 24
BBC to release new doco-drama on 14th Century English Medieval medium-sized Castle Moat Algae, a ten-part series hosted by David Attenborough
High quality Aussie soap star wins Gold Logie, Australia's 'most prestigious TV awards', and life goes on
Better Homes & Gardens presenter Rob cuts finger while sawing wood, Craft Specialist fetches him some material to stop the flow, Cook boils him up some chamomile tea which Gardner Graeme Ross has shown us how to grow, while Interior-Designer paints a room for Rob to rest in while he recovers
Food & Hospitality industry expert reveals : Food Presentation is all about how we present food
Disney produce film about a young character going through a ninety-minute journey that represents the 'trials and tribulations' of the everyday world
Today Tonight features life-changing material entitled 'Salt: A Special Report'
Coles stores to be rebranded as 'Buy-low' to increase profit
Coles stores to be rebranded as 'Coles: The Fresher Food People' to increase profit
Jessica Simpson still confused over tuna: 'so is it chicken or fish?'
Victoria to move to Category 438 water restrictions
Ansett decide to have a go at buying out Qantas
Popular bookshops such as Angus & Robertson and Borders rebel by deciding to price all their books below their RRP
Swimming commentator asks insightful question to gold medal winner: 'how do you feel?'
Dell manufactures a good computer
Football executives upset over poor crowd turnout: 'now our salary is only $5m a year'
The Satire
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