Locals have become disheartened after a local Bi-Lo store removed their sardines from its shelves. The 'dines of the sar' variety, that used to only cost 26 cents, have been replaced by the funky new "You'll Love Coles" sardines, in a trend that will boost sales by $250m*.
*More details in our "Financial Fiasco's" on Saturday, enabled by Freedom of Saturday Laws.
"They just don't have the same flavour," local resident Manuella DaVinci commented. "I've been buying them for fifteen years, despite only living in Australia for two, and will sorely miss those salty sea creatures." (alliteration added by the Satire for better affect)
Australia's own Adelaide-residing Chong Liew (with his very traditional Australian name) however, rejects claims that the Bi-Lo Brand Sardines held any value. "Mmm, yes. Quite a spot of nothing, really" he mumbled in his old Victorian accent.
Controversy has surrounded whether Mario, keen fisherman, 's statement "Superbly fresh and vibrant" holds any validity. Luckily, the Satire has unveiled an exclusive new column that will review foods that can be eaten at your own home (yes, indeed) in our special T'riffic Tuesday Edition - look out for a personal review of the sardines by Tony Lurv on Tuesday.
You'll Love Coles! Sardines are currently available at all leading WoolWorths stores for 47 cents, but Coles would like to reiterate that Coles is NOT more expensive than Bi-Lo. It just seems that way. "And in any case, if Coles products do have a slight difference in price it allows us to place value-added words in front of everything".
Tomorrow in Inside Shopper: Is Helga's Traditional Wholemeal Bread Really Traditional?
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